Airport Bathroom Etiquette for Men: A Flight Attendant’s Sarcastic Guide to Not Being Disgusting
Airport Bathroom Etiquette for Men: A Flight Attendant’s Sarcastic Guide to Not Being Disgusting
As flight attendants, we see a lot: full-grown adults having meltdowns over carry-ons, people boarding in shorts to Cleveland in January, and—most horrifying of all—men strolling out of the airport bathroom like they’re in a cologne commercial… after skipping the sink completely.
On a good day, it feels like 80% of guys don’t wash their hands. And here’s the fun part: the data is depressingly close.
Studies show that while most people say they wash their hands every time, only about 63% actually do when observed in public restrooms. Men are consistently worse at this than women. PubMed+1
Another recent survey found that around 20% of adults admit they don’t always wash their hands after using the bathroom—even though handwashing can prevent about 80% of infectious diseases. NFID+1
So no, I’m not being dramatic. You’re just being gross.
Why Airport Bathrooms Are a Biohazard With a Boarding Pass
Airports are basically international germ exchange hubs: thousands of people from everywhere, all touching the same door handles, sink faucets, stall latches, and paper towel levers.
The CDC has been screaming into the void for years that handwashing with soap and water is one of the best ways to stay healthy and prevent the spread of infections. CDC+1
Meanwhile, travel hygiene experts remind us that your luggage wheels, neck pillows, and reusable water bottle pick up all kinds of bacteria as you roll through terminals and public restrooms. The Washington Post
So when you walk straight out of the bathroom, adjust your backpack, and then grab your in-flight snack with those unwashed hands? Congratulations, you’ve just seasoned your pretzels with a light dusting of E. coli.
How to Not Be “That Guy” in the Airport Bathroom
Let’s walk through this like a safety demo for your dignity.
1. Yes, You Actually Have to Use Soap
The CDC’s basic playbook is simple: wet, lather, scrub for at least 20 seconds, rinse, dry. CDC+1
Translation for airport bros:
Turn on the water.
Get soap.
Scrub like you’re trying to erase your search history.
Hum “Happy Birthday” twice if you need a timer. (Silently. Please.)
No, splashing your hands for two seconds like you’re in a cologne ad does not count.
2. Think Beyond the Sink
Once your hands are finally clean, don’t ruin it immediately:
Use a paper towel to turn off the faucet and open the door.
If it’s one of those “hand dryers only” situations, push it open with your shoulder or use a sleeve.
Hand sanitizer (60%+ alcohol) is your backup, not your entire strategy. CDC
On the plane itself, water quality and bathroom surfaces can be… let’s call it “questionable.” Experts even warn against drinking or brushing your teeth with airplane tap water and recommend relying on sanitizer and wipes mid-flight, then doing a proper wash once you’re back in the terminal. The Sun+1
3. Stop Doing Weird Stuff in Public Bathrooms
On behalf of humanity, a quick list:
Airport sinks are not your personal shower stall. If your “wash-up” routine requires elbow splashing, shirt removal, or foot soaking, that’s a hotel problem.
Don’t spit, hack, and leave it there like a crime scene.
Aim better. You’re an adult, not a sprinkler.
If you wouldn’t do it in your mother’s bathroom, don’t do it in Concourse B.
Bonus Round: General “Stop Being Gross” Travel Hygiene
While we’re here, a few extras from the cabin crew complaint file:
Dragon breath: Brush your teeth before the flight, and maybe use sugar-free gum. No one wants to smell what you had for dinner from 14C.
Manspreading: If your knees are in three time zones, you’re doing it wrong.
Basic cleanliness: Travel pros recommend at least showering within 24 hours of a long flight and using deodorant. Radical, I know. Travel Stack Exchange+1
You don’t have to smell like a spa. Just aim for “not a biohazard.”
Why This Matters (Besides the Fact That It’s Nasty)
Handwashing isn’t just about manners—it’s a legit public health move. It helps prevent respiratory infections, foodborne illness, and a lovely assortment of stomach bugs you really don’t want at 35,000 feet. CDC+1
As flight attendants, we’re trapped in a flying metal tube with recycled air, limited bathrooms, and 180 of your closest strangers. When you skip the sink, you’re not just rolling the dice for yourself—you’re sharing those germs with:
The tray table
The seatbelt
The armrest
The person you cough on while loudly watching a movie with no headphones
So do us all a favor: next time you’re in an airport bathroom, wash your damn hands.
If you can figure out mobile boarding passes, TSA rules, and how to wedge an emotional support carry-on into an overhead bin, you can handle 20 seconds of soap and water.
Your fellow passengers—and every crew member silently judging you—will thank you.
